virgin?

its almost midnight yet i am still blogging away using my iphone... guess where am I at? at my fiancé's house sleeping next to his sister. Today we have been busy with seminars and coordinator meeting. During the counseling/seminar we were asked who were virgins as part of the routine. Well I did not casually raised my hand bec I was a bit shy to be so vulgar about virginity. Two of us girls where identified... (i was wondering why no man raised a hand). Who am i to judge really? Technically I may be a virgin, but in this (wicked) world who can remain pure? I do not absent myself to sex induced media---movies, books, and anything on the internet... that leads to compromises. I've been there with my eyes wide open. My heart sank, and truthfully I am convicted. God sees, and there is no denying that I am not an inch nearer to His standard. I wanted to cry, but we were in a public place.

Later in the afternoon, God spoke to me about the wise and foolish virgins of the bible. It's surprising that all of them were virgins compared to todays count when it does not really matter if you marry being one or not. well, the world has indeed changed. But God's standard doesnt. in matthew 25, we can read that although they were all virgins, but not all of them were welcomed by the bridegroom. Only those who were ready, with lighted lamps and a supply of oil are able to enter. meaning to say, God is desiring not just a pure bride in all of us, but a wise bride. A Bride who has a Fully submitted lifestyle, who doesn't put off work. not crooked, ready in whatever season, does not easily falter and of course ready to meet and please the Bridegroom.

I hope i can be that bride. One day at a time. 

morning thoughts

Im back. Just because my heart has been so full of God's stirring that I have to let it out.
Writing a blog on my iphone is not really easy, I wish there are mobile friendly blog platforms out there. Anyways, yesterday I had a fever... I don't usually get sick but when I do, most of the time it's God calling me to take a time out and be with Him. Seriously.  So I just laid silently in bed mean while God's  comfort came over me. Lots have been going on lately you know. Wedding preparations (yes, im getting married!), theft cases in our store, renovations after the fire, gasoline station papers and to add my personal business. I am just too glad to be confined in my parents room for an entire day.  That was all I need to get going. Today when I woke up I just felt God speaking to me. I was feeling angry at the world (idk why initially), but I was angry why the world is offering too much. Why there has to be many things that entertain, that take much of people's time, and  forget what God is offering---Himself. There is too much ambition in the world, and very little substance. I went angry at computer games, at series of books... when one can have perpetual bliss in dwelling in His presence. I am angry at myself why I have to pull myself back again... and why I ran away from my Lord many times. God perhaps is angry too...but at the same time He is compassionate and so loving that I cannot refuse Him. So I will let Him ardently love me... his daughter